Are your parents, siblings and friends all up in your face about the guy you're dating? Are they telling you he is not the one for you? That he is no good and you should not even entertain the idea of marrying him? Do you think they are just being a pain, or that they are jealous? O.K., enough with the questions, here's the scoop! If you see yourself in the scenario above then you may want to continue reading this article. Generally, your parents, siblings and friends have an outside look at what is going on in your life. Believe it or not, they can see things that you can not see, or you don't want to see. And, they are doing their best to try to protect you. Yes, even if you don't want their protection. They love you and care about you so they do not want to see you get hurt. As outlined in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" here's my Top Ten Red Flag List you should consider before getting married. If any of these rings true for you then listen to what your family and friends have to say. At least listen and investigate the allegations. 10 - If he is mean to children, pets or animals. If so, he will be mean to you as well, eventually. 9 - If he doesn't want anything to do with his parents, and has a lame excuse as to why. Or if he does see them, he is extremely disrespectful or verbally abusive for everyone to see. There is a good chance that if a man treats his parents badly, especially his mother, it may be an indication of what your future could look like. 8 - If he has more than one DUI and is still drinking. Or, anytime he does have a drink he gets mean or violent. Run! 7 - Beware if he has no friends. If other people don't want to be around him then there must be a definite reason for it. Ask him why, if the answer is not satisfactory, you most likely should not be around him either. 6 - If he blames everything that goes wrong on you. This behavior will not change, and soon you may start believing that everything is your fault. And, trust me, it's not. 5 - Be sure in your heart of hearts that you can except him "just as he is". People do not change, so don't go into a relationship saying to yourself "I can change him" or "he'll change once we're together." This likely will not happen. 4 - Does he already have children who will have nothing to do with him? If so you can bet his kids have a good reason. And I would be willing to bet it is not because "their mother brainwashed them" against him. 3 - Do a credit and job history check. Look at it closely, there is a lot to be learned here. What you see in this one background check could be a peek into your future. Believe what you read! 2 - If he has no money, no job and no intentions in getting his financial situation under control - Do Not let him move in with you. If he has any respect for you, and for himself he will get his finances in order first. 1 - If your parents, sibling and friends all have doubts about him, listen to what they have to say. Then check the information out. I am sorry to tell you this, but they are usually right. You don't need to be with someone who won't respect you. There are many guys out there who will. Your safety and mental well being must be important to you. Find a man who will love you and respect you for you. He is out there! Best of Luck! Marie Clare Dating and Relationship Consultant |
