Many of us at times have been upset. Being upset is a part of life. Not all things will go the way you want them to go. When this upset turns to anger we must be careful how we handle ourselves.

Here are 4 steps to control your anger and have it vent in proper ways.

1. Count to 10 when you are getting upset. This is a normal way that we have all heard. We have heard it because it works if you practice it. Count to 10 and you may solve many of your outbursts before they happen.

2. Do something that is physically exerting. Instead of punching a wall or a person, go run around the house, or mow the yard. Go for a walk, swim, bikeride, or shoot some hoops. This can provide a physical outlet for your emotions.

3. Find something that is calming. Try deep breathing from your diaphragm. Take 10 deep calming breaths. This can be very soothing for most people. Combine this with step 1 and count to 10 slowly while breathing.

4. Use I statements instead of you statements. I am frustrated because you didnt help with the housework, instead of You didnt help me with the housework. This helps in multiple ways one is your way of thinking is a bit better and you also do not upset the other person so that both parties are angry. Which of course is not a good outcome for anyone.

You can combine multiple steps above to help alleviate anger. Dont hold it in, but dont blow up. Calm yourself down and talk about it by using step number 4 above. Go for a swim or a nice shower, and you can alleviate the stresses that cause unhealthy anger.