Any loss is very traumatic, be it the loss of someone or of something. You may have been prepared for it or it may come as a surprise, more like a tragedy, really. The greatest advantage of knowing in advance that you are going to part with someone or something is that you can say a proper good-bye to it.

Suppose a family member is about to die; instead of pretending that nothing is happening, you will feel better later on knowing that you said your farewell. You may also have a chance to make any ill-will right again. You may apologize, you may declare your love, you may show you care, you may laugh, you may introduce a significant other, you may pay a debt, and so on. Of course, all this is not going to make your grief any less; though it will greatly reduce any guilty feeling that you may have later on.

Or, suppose your last child is leaving for college. Though not a total loss, the empty nest experience may be tremendous, especially if you have had a great relationship with this child. Nevertheless, the loss is real for something is about to change. And changes, positive or negative, are never without distress.

Now, the worst loss is the one not expected. That is incredibly traumatic and may make you absolutely desperate and inconsolable. In this case, it may take you a little longer to work on your grief as usually you tend to ask the question that is not to be asked: "Why?"

Though it is easier to cope with the loss in the first instance than it is in the second one, a loss is a loss and the grieving process is all the same. To help you cope with it so that you can move on, here are 5 suggestions:

1. Take time off so you can deeply feel your sorrow. Do what you must: cry, scream, kick, punch. Let the anger come out and do something about it.

2. Relax and de-stress. You can visit with your true friends and find opportunities to laugh. Chill out and relax. Go for walks in nature, take a bath, make love, appreciate the beauty around you.

3. Do something you truly love. It can be taking up a hobby. Good things to try are the ones you use your hands, for your heart has a special connection to your hands. Let you heart speak. Or else, you can volunteer for a cause which you are passionate about. Think of what causes you great sorrow every time you see it. Volunteer for that.

4. Learn something new. This is a good time to take up piano lessons, or painting, or dance and drama, or learn a language, or learn a computer program.

5. Plan for the next stage of your life. Remember that if you dont plan, life passes you by. Be proactive, dream and transform your dreams into goals. Check my article: "How to Transform Your Dreams Into Goal" for this step.

You will notice that soon you are not only feeling much better but you are also dramatically improving the quality of your life and those around you.

Maria Moratto

Dr. Maria Moratto holds 5 degrees, including 2 B.A., 2 M.A., and one Ph.D. Originally from Brazil, she has over 25 years experience in academics as well as coaching individuals and groups; teaching seminars, teleseminars, and classe, and writing books and other articles on self-improvement topics such as stress and time-management, leisure, spirituality, abundance, prosperity, learning styles and multiple intelligences, academic survival, relationships, natural medicine, diversity, goal setting, career, lifestyle, and spiritual business.

She is passionate about helping others improve their lives and find true happiness, health, and prosperity. She thinks that life is supposed to be easy, simple, and fun. She is a great supporter of LOHAS.

She lives in Fair Oaks, CA with her 17 year old son Alex and two kitties, Zeh and Fitty, whom she adores.