In aviation, there is a term that designates who, at any given moment, is responsible for flying an aircraft. That person can be the captain, it can be the first officer, the co-pilot, or even a student pilot, just learning to fly. But it is one and exactly one individual in any aircraft at any given time. This term is Pilot In Command. It is in fact a formally defined phrase under federal aviation regulations, because it is so critical to the safe operation of an aircraft. When one pilot wishes for another pilot to take over as Pilot In Command, he or she must engage in a brief, but very formal and serious conversation that goes something like this: Current Pilot In Command states, Your airplane? New Pilot In Command says, Ive got the airplane. What an odd practice. At least, this is what I thought when I first heard of it nearly 20 years ago. After all, someone has to be flying the plane for it to take offhow could it suddenly not be clear who is responsible for it? Besides, why should you care, after all, youre probably not a pilot? Have you ever been driving somewhere and thought that the person with you knew where you were and was giving you directions, but then they werent sure anymore, so they just stopped talking and let you drive straight? Then, after 10 minutes, you say something like Are you sure this is the right way? And they say Oh, I thought you knew where we were Or maybe, youve been the person giving the directions in this kind of situation. But back to airplanes. One clear night in 1972, Eastern Airlines flight 401, carrying 176 people departed from New York destined for Miami. After a smooth flight, the crew of three pilots prepared for landing. As the landing gear was lowered, everything seemed normal, except the indicator light confirming that one of the wheels was down did not light up. It seemed like a burned-out light bulb was the culprit, but just to be sure, the captain suggested replacing the bulb. Unfortunately, they couldnt get it out. It was stuck. The captain put the plane on autopilot as the three crewmembers tried to get the indicator light to work. Within this incredibly sophisticated aircraft weighing over 230,000 lbs. and capable of transporting 500 people at nearly the speed of sound, these three highly trained pilots were entirely focused on studying this one light bulb. So preoccupied in fact that one didnt notice when he inadvertently hit a control that disengaged the autopilot. So preoccupied that none of the crew in the cockpit heard the loud warning signal that indicated they were descending from their intended altitude. And so preoccupied that no one looked out the window to see the ground gradually approaching until they were but 50 feet from it not nearly enough time to change the course of an aircraft weighing over 110 tons and moving faster than 150 MPH. Nearly 100 people were killed in this tragedy. They were onboard an aircraft that was operating perfectly, except one light bulb. What went wrong? No one was responsible for flying the airplane. Each of the three pilots thought that someone else was looking out the window and watching where they were going. No one was Pilot In Command. Often we do this in our life. It seems to be a part of human nature. Have you ever known someone in a job where they let the company direct their future by offering them new positions or transfers, and they just took them because they didnt know what else to do? Ever known a woman in a relationship who stays home to take care of kids and the house though she seems sad, burnt out and empty inside, never even considering a career or other options? Who is Pilot In Command in her life? Did she and her husband actually sit down and talk about it? Maybe it would have gone something like this Husband: Honey, can I take charge of your life for you, telling you to do with your time whatever will fit best with my needs? Most of the time I wont notice or care, as long as it doesnt get in the way of my plans. Have you ever known someone who went to school to become a doctor or lawyer, even though they had little interest in the field, because thats what a parent wanted them to do? Then, 10 years later, they realize they hate their career and theyre living out their parents dream, yet paying for it with the life they live. We have all seen people in these positions, or faced them ourselves. Sometimes its okay for someone else to be in charge, but I encourage you to always be clear that you have made this decision, and also know how long it will be for. Too often, we give away years or decades of our lives pretending we are doing what we want, but having really given control to someone else. And just as often, that other person isnt really even paying attention to our life, or what will serve us best (They are too wrapped up in their own life). Of course, there are difficult situations. Things like not having enough money to make it without the support of someone who we let control our life. Or being in a relationship that we are too scared to leave. Sometimes we do need to stick it out for a while. If this is your case, I encourage you to pick a date for when you will take back your life. Write it down. Come up with a plan for how you will do it, then, as Nike says Just Do It! After all, how would it feel to be 70 years old and realize that you spend most of your life with someone else in control. Would the cost of not taking back command of your life be worth it? After all, we only get one chance at this lifetime what do you want yours to be like? Whether its on a short-term level, like driving with a friend, or its a lifetime level, like deciding whether to have kids or not, always be sure you know and agree to who will be Pilot In Command in your life (and for how long, if its someone else). And, dont ever let the small stuff, the burnt-out bulb so to speak, distract you from what really matters. This lifetime is yours more than anyone elses. You have the potential to make it something beautiful and glorious. To live whatever you dream. Take the chance, do whatever it takes, because you deserve nothing less. |
