Emotional maturity in my view is a significant predictor of the level of success that an individual will acheive in their lifetime. Now by success I do not equate this only with wealth. That is only one dimension of success. Others include, general level of happiness, self confidence, success in relationships, the level of wellbeing in terms of emotional and physical health, the health of one's family, one's station in life, degree of leadership and responsibility taken in one's community and the world as a whole. There are similarly dimensions that contribute to emotional maturity. These include the following: 1. Level of self confidence, self worth, and self esteem. 2. Degree of personal honesty and integrity. 3. Ability to express and feel love towards self, others and the environment. 4. An awareness of and respect for one's inner emotional landscape. 5. Ability to experience intimacy with others. 6. The ability to feel balanced in the midst of emotionally challenging situations. 7. Ability to make independent decisions when necessary yet at the same time be able to work interdependently with others when required to do so. 8. Absence of self doubt, worry, anxiety, depression or other mood instabilities. 9. A healthy self image and self concept. 10. Ability to nurture others. 11. Ability to accept one's current limitations and accept help as required. 12. Ability to be compassionate, understanding and forgiving as opposed to living from a place of anger. 13. The ability to reflect calmly on one's situation and take measured steps. In keeping with these dimensions I have created what I call the "Emotional Maturity Quotient" or EMQ. The EMQ is in the form of a questionnaire that you can take right now (see below) to determine your level of Emotional Maturity and thereby get a sense of how successful you might become. If you wish to undertake this questionnaire you may wish to print this page now and then fill it out for yourself. ---------------------------------------------------------------- The Emotional Maturity Questionnaire Please rate each item as outlined below according to your life experience. Assign: a "1" score each time you answer "Rarely",
a "0.5" score each time you answer "Sometimes", and
a "0" score each time you anwser "Often"
to each item in the questionnaire. Then add up your total EMQ score. Questions: 1. I look to others to validate my decisions before I act on them. 2. I tend to follow rather lead others. 3. Taking responsibility frightens me and so I avoid it. 4. Being on my own makes me feel uncomfortable. 5. I rely on others to make me feel secure. 6. I tend to make snap decisions. 7. I rarely stop and think through what I'm going to do next. 8. I tend to make impulsive decisions. 9. I'm generally an anxious person. 10. I tend to worry a lot. 11. My mood is easily affected by what is taking place around me. 12. I am a moody person. 13. I've been told that I'm moody. 14. I tend to get angry or frustrated easily. 15. I'm not very successful with relationships. 16. My relationships tend to last only a short time. 17. My relationships are very turbulent. 18. I don't enjoy looking after children or pets. 19. My confidence level is low. 20. I have trouble speaking in public or to strangers I don't know. 21. I often feel like there is something wrong with me. 22. I indulge in feelings of self pity. 23. I tend to complain about how others have hurt me or made my life difficult. 24. I often blame my parents for how I am. 25. I dislike myself. 26. I'm afraid that being honest will make my life more difficult. 27. I tend to tell people what I think they want to hear and not what I feel. 28. I need others to approve of me for me to feel good about myself. 29. I'm afraid of rejection. 30. I'm afraid of disapproval. 31. I tend to turn to alochol, drugs, cigarettes or something else to take away my emotional pain. 32. I have trouble opening up to others. 33. I have trouble feeling relaxed around others. 34. I fear others will think there's something wrong with me 35. I have trouble managing my money. 36. I neglect my health. 37. I tend to ignore my healthcare practitioner's advice. 39. I'm a loner. 40. I hate being alone. ------------------------------------------------------------ A total EMQ score of: 1. Greater than 30 is a sign of good emotional maturity. 2. Between 10 and 30 a sign that you will likely have some challenges ahead in your life if you fail to address the relevant issues. 3. Less than 10 is sign that you are going to run into significant trouble if you haven't already. If you want support in improving your EMQ, your life and your chances of success then kindly visit the web link below where you can set up your introductory telephone consultation with me at no risk to you. |
