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  Index Page » Self Management » Coping With Loss
   
 

Katrina Whispered Something: Can You Hear It?

   

Hurricane Katrina has hit all of us in America, both literally and figuratively, close to home. Initially, the most startling thing to me was seeing, in report after report, news media personnel covering the scene and breaking down emotionally. This experience was personal to them, so it became personal to me.

Seasoned reporters were actually crying or raging for all of us to see in wondrously honest displays of their humanity in proportion to the experience of what they were facing. I must confess to a part of me being thrilled because here they were, connected with the moment that lived inside of them for all to see.

This was not really professional behavior on their parts because we expect our professional reporters to be more than human by NOT being affected by the things that they report to us that are designed to affect us.

This is the way things go. We specify groups of individuals in our society to handle things that the rest of us dont want to deal with. We ask them to do it in a limited amount of time, most often handling a tremendously high volume. We ask them to do it and then leave the experience behind them, as if it actually did not become a part of them. In that process, we almost demand that they be of a different make-up than ourselves; as if it takes a more-than human to do that kind of work, deliver that kind of service, handle those kinds of pressures or act in that particular way.

It does, especially in view of our expectations. The problem is, the majority who desire to be insulated from the pain of being human expect of those who do handle it for them to act as if that pain doesnt exist. To make matters worse, those in the services who act as if such things do exist are often removed from providing the service because being affected like a human being implies not being able to be the machine that is able to perform the service. And we believe we need those machines.

Something very vital is missing here.

Where it all breaks down is the majority of us assume that just because an individual can handle a specific burden for the rest of us means they are able to handle all aspects of that burden. The one aspect consistently neglected is coming to terms with ones own humanity and vulnerability and emotions in the midst of providing the service. That cannot happen in a vacuum. We need each other.

In our current culture, we do not allow our heroes to come full-circle in their experience of being human beings. We send human beings into the fray (whatever name you may give it), require them to act as machines, and then, when they get broken, do not provide them with a path back to their humanity.

The reporters in Louisiana, because their job was to witness for us, were the most obvious example of what happens when humans meet the limits of their humanity. They were merely the tip of the iceberg of the people that are being called upon to be machines to deal with this disaster.

They were so uncharacteristically visible as human beings, it was shocking. And how did that register with most people? That made the experience of watching the coverage of Katrinas aftermath so real, so very disturbing, that many are actually start asking questions of themselves and others. The questions coming up are about poverty, race and war.

And that is happening, but we are faced with some very important choices. Do we point fingers and ascribe blame or do we examine what it means to be a human being at whatever level of service, from citizen to First Responder to President called upon to face disaster?

Unless we learn to start mobilizing ourselves in a different direction, as soon as the shock-value of Katrina (or Tsunami, or suicide bombings or, or, or) wears off, well be back to the same old soul-depleting approach that, in its essence, promotes the continuation of our creating disasters such as war and poverty for ourselves and the world. We tend to do anything we can to avoid the impact that our choices have on other people.

Yes, I was happy to see some highly visible personalities exhibit their humanity. But how did their personal stories unfold? The cameras lingered (uncomfortably) and then faded out or pulled away, leaving us with an image of a professional at their personal edge of some form of pain. We think, Oh, how terrible for him, I hope he can pull it back together, he was such a good reporter. And then we switch the channel.

What a huge opportunity were missing!

What if, instead of fading out and moving to another reporter with his or her shit together who is covering the Mayor insinuating the Governors neglect who then blames FEMA, we kept those cameras trained on the affected reporter for as long as it takes him or her to work through that immediate experience?

Having been a paramedic for twelve years, I can attest to the fact that most of us would be surprised at how smoothly the process can go when people learn how to be supportive of other people having emotions.

The reporter did his or her work. The news got out in a timely manner. The coverage was good and perhaps most of all, real. And now, we are asked to continue watching as the reporter goes to someone he or she trusts and asks to be witnessed, or held, or given room to grieve some evidencing of a human being dealing with the dilemmas of being a human being with the help of other human beings.

And you know what wed find? Wed watch as the reporter, having taken a bit of the edge off, would then be able to get to the next story and do what he or she is supposed to do. In the newsroom Id design, wed check in with that reporter periodically to witness the longer process of recovery from trauma. Meanwhile, he or she would continue to do the job.

Chances are, though, in the present paradigm Ill wager that most of the crews supporting their Anchors didnt have a clue what to do, but, touched as human beings, found some way to be there. But chances are also that that support was geared towards getting the reporter back into his protective shell so the next job could be done.

My point is, were this kind of exposure given to the process at the very least acknowledging that there IS a process many many more of us would pick up the skills to more equally share the burden of being human rather than shifting the weight of disaster to fall on people whom we ask to be machines.

Most every person involved in vital protective agencies such as police, fire and medical services, the military and its adjuncts are the professionals we depend on to carry the weight of crime, violence, debility, death and tragedy. If I had to find one Universal phrase to describe the core dilemma that each faces even under normal circumstances it would be this: There but for fortune.

We, especially in the US, live under the illusion that life is forever, that suffering is aberrant and that all will come out well in the end, not to mention that we are the heroes of the world. This is not reality and members of the core agencies I mentioned know this better than most. Our culture demands that they suffer with this knowledge alone.

Were that suffering to be more evident, more out in the open, more evenly acknowledged and shared, it would put into better perspective how much suffering we actually create for ourselves and others.

If we could begin to see that, then we could begin to make things different for the good of all.

Author: Russ Reina
 
Author Bio:

Russ Reina

Russ has been involved in the healing arts since 1969. As one of the first ambulance paramedics in the country he began to explore the difference between being a healer and being what he calls a "flesh mechanic." His path has taken him through alternative modalities of healing, including working and living with a Lakota medicine family on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation (SD).

His experience also has included over 20 years in performance arts, including movie writing and production, stand-up comedy, improvisation, acting and singing/songwriting. Today, he lives on the island of Maui, produces sacred art and offers counseling and workshops.

His emphasis is on working with healers. Russ has a special interest in crisis intervention and counseling having to do with serious life changes.

He supports himself and counseling through sales of his art work, which can be found at his web sites. Please take a few minutes to explore the fascinating world of the healing arts there.

"There is a most powerful gift that one person can give to another," says Russ. "It is permission and encouragement, in whatever form it takes, for the other to be as wholly themselves as they are capable of becoming. It is also the most powerful gift one can give to oneself.

We all do this at some time or another in our lives. Therefore, each of us are healers, for the act of healing is the act of assisting in bringing about wholeness. The only difference between a healer and anyone else is that the healer actively looks for opportunities to do the work. Look for opportunities; becoming a healer is that simple."

This article can be searched using: coping with loss, coping with grief, coping with grief & sorrow, overcoming grief, grief & loss
 
 
 

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