Are you wondering what money has to do with recovery from addiction and other emotional disorders? In my experience a darn lot as the healthier Ive gotten the more money I seem to accumulate.
Until I put down my means of making myself feel better I was always scraping for a 'buck. I spent my 'bucks' on getting alcohol, drugs, food and then later even in recovery, poker machines (slot machines for our U.S visitors). The only dollars I ever saved was for holidays, which included and were specific for a huge binge on my substances of choice.I came to hate this paper dollar that I thought was my enemy, why, because it was so hard to keep. The nasty addictions stole it all from me and my parents were astounded that such a talented person could not get ahead in this area of my life. Denial was thick and foggy; at no time did I stop and think that the reason the dollar was such a bitch to me was because it was consumed by my addictive substances. Cigarettes can steal $70.00AUS from a long term addicted smoker per week. Ripped off in the true sense of the words is what addiction can do to our bank balance.
I have known alcoholics/addicts that have had through their acting out, lots of dollars. Some have had heaps of it. However if you speak with them theyll tell you they lost a lot unnecessarily and some lost the whole lot as their dis-ease of addiction progressed. Either way, addiction and finances do not dance well on the floor of life.
It takes a definite education about the paper dollar to have it grow and work for a person. That education can come from our experienced parents or we may have to take a course of formal study to grasp financial principles. Applying these principles is the next step obviously.
I guess I was lacking self-control or discipline in this area of my life. Oh der, you think so, I hear some say. Put it this way, what self control did I really have when I allowed myself to succumb to the treacheries of addiction and self destruction? Even in the first couple of years coming off of my substances of choice there was extra cash around, I was still in pain so I chose to continue acting out my addictions by spending big bucks at the Casino. Dear dear dear what a vicious merry-go round I was on.
Today as Ive grown and become educated I can proudly say its all coming together in the $$$ department. For me, MY BANK BALANCE HAS BEEN A MEASURE OF MY SUCCESS IN RECOVERY FROM ADDICTION. Wealth doesnt maketh the man however it does make this member of mankind mighty happy that Im not a loser in the stakes of life concerning finances. Having financial wealth doesnt make us happy yet Im not free to evolve and do the things I want to do in life without it. It does pay the bills and it gets me out of my head when its there, waiting to pay those bills.
As long as I manage and control my finances and dont allow 'them' to have this privilege, Im doing fine. In fact it becomes a game and the self-esteem that is built as a result of winning the game is just what all addicts need. Powerlessness does lead to power as promised by the 12th Step Recovery fellowships.
Lastly Ill share one of my secrets with you. I learnt how to BUDGET.
Monique Louise Hill
http://www.wounded-healer-support.com
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