A recent CSI re-run was about a guy who had murdered his wife and hidden her body in the hot-water booster because she "nagged" him. Clearly that was an extreme case of frustration and breakdown in communication between husband and wife, but I think it's fair to say that those of us in domestic bliss have had our moments of tension around the honey-do list. Men and women are from different planets when it comes to their attitude around the honey-do list. Depending on the domestic situation either spouse could be the "manager" of the honey-do list, but in the vast majority of cases I know, it's usually the wife, so let's talk about that example. It's not that men don't want to do their chores. But they don't want to be told what to do. And they don't want to be told when to do it ? "now" in most cases. They just want the freedom to do it at their own convenience. On the flip side, women don't wish to be the "managers" of the honey-do list. Clearly, it causes as much stress to be the one to (repeatedly) ask for things to be done as it does for the target of the request. Here's a typical scenario. Husband comes home from work bushed. He just wants to plop in front of the TV beer in hand. Wife: "Honey, don't forget to fix the leak in the upstairs bathroom". Husband: "Grunt. Yeah, I'll get to it". He's thinking, let me relax for a bit, drink a beer, then, when I'm feeling energized, I'll go upstairs. Wish I'd remembered to do it in the morning - I had some spare time. Wish I'd remembered to look at the honey-do list wife diligently put up on the fridge. A little while later, he's engrossed in the football game he's watching, and he doesn't want to miss it because the game just got exciting. There go the good intentions. And the scenario repeats the next day. The problem is genuine, and both parties would really like to get it fixed, but clearly this is a communication and time management problem. Clearly, in this era of computers, email, cell phones, personal digital assistants, there's got to be a better way? Fortunately, there are tools recently available that specifically address the problem, such as the one my company makes. Instead of micro-managing your family, you should try one of these tools, where you can create a daily plan for each family member well in advance, and the computer, through email, cell phone reminders, etc., does the reminding. So husband can be fully aware of his to-do list and manage the work at his convenience. And wife can let her computer do the nagging. And everyone can live happily ever after. Sound good? 2006 by Saro Saravanan. |
