"That best portion of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love." William Wordsworth

All Saints Day comes once a year to remind us of the tall shoulders upon which we stand.

The day seems long-forgotten, what with jack-o-lanterns in every window, skeletons hanging on nearby trees, and witches and monsters hiding in the shadows. Costumes have been hand-sewn or purchased, and super-sized bags of candy have been dispensed into baskets, ready for the doorbell ringing trick-or-treaters to devour.

Halloween, per se, has never been my favorite holiday. I'm just not a huge fan of spooky, dark, morose things of any kind. I don't read horror books. Don't see scary movies. Hate any hint of evil. Even seeing monsters and make-believe Frankensteins gives me the heevie-jeevies. Halloween-" ?as we know it anyway-" ?is a uniquely American, post-1930's phenomenon. The pre-Christian Celtics used the day to celebrate the official end of summer; early Christians to remember the recently departed, faithful servants or saints (hence, All Saints Day). Its earlier folklore even used the practice of knocking on doors to collect monies for relief of poverty or for overseas missions, presumably to reinforce the saintlike behavior of those who had come before them.

I suppose it's one thing to celebrate folk rituals. Folklore must go on, after all. And celebrating folklore" ?-I admit-" ?is downright fun. It activates the creative juices. And I guess one could argue that designing a kid's costume" ?-or those for an entire family-" ?is one of the most creative endeavors of the season. But its huge secular influence-" ?witches and black cats, Frankensteins and monsters, ghosts and goblins, gruesome masks and fake blood" ?is enough to make me want to stay home by myself and watch reruns of Mayberry RFD.

And did I mention the mischief" ?-or downright vandalism-" ?that goes on during Halloween night? Smashing pumpkins, a lovely little ritual that my own husband confessed to our kids over dinner to having taken part in (and for which he felt guilt at the time), seems mild in light of some of the stuff my teen son has witnessed (firsthand, unfortunately). Soaping windows and "t-p-ing"? a house might seem like good ole-fashioned fun, but yuck: have you ever tried to clean up after being soaped or t-p-ed?

I'm going to try-" ?as best I can (I still have kids little enough to once again enjoy or endure the trick-or-treat ritual, depending on how I think about it)-" ?to celebrate the holiday by spending some time thinking about some of the wonderful folks whose lives crossed mine but who are no longer among us. On whose tall shoulders I stand. Denise was a saint who faithfully prayed for Nick each and every Sunday, even though she was dealing with an aggressive cancer herself, which ultimately took her life a few months ago. Chantal, though ten years old at the time of her death last month, taught me many lessons about life, even though she lived only a fraction of the time that I have. I'll spend some time not only jotting down the names of recently departed saints; I'll meditate on the lessons they taught by their everyday lives. Simple. Uncomplicated lessons. Lessons of hospitality. Or faithfulness.

And I'll look around at those saints who still cross my daily path. Real, live modern-day saints. Like the kind older lady who helps me fill my prescriptions at my local pharmacy; she hugs me every time I go in for a refill for one of Nick's drugs. And Nora, who works part-time there, yet remembers to send me emails of encouragement, as she faces battles and fears of her own. And Wellington, who fills up my gas tank-" ?as well as my emotional tank-" ?every time I pull into the station. He never fails to ask about Nick, and promises to keep him in daily prayer. Elmer, the restaurant owner; Ron, my pet food supplier; and Matt, my photo-copy guy. Unlikely saints moving and living in my circle. Just doing regular, un-glamorous jobs. Yet bringing saintlike movements and wisdom into my everyday, workaday world.

So scoop out the pumpkins seeds and carve jack-o-lanterns. Bob for apples and bang on doors demanding candy. Keep up the secular if it brings you and your little ones some joy. But don't forget the spiritual aspect of the day, too. All of us stand on tall shoulders. We wouldn't be the people we are, where we are, if spiritual giants hadn't come before us. I hope you take some time out today-" ?whether it's while you're walking your kids down the dark streets in search of chocolate and a trick or two, or whether it's during a long, contemplative cup of hot tea-" ?to gratefully remember both the saints who came before us and those who live among us. Aspiring to be a little more saintlike is a good thing. What can you-" ?and I" ?-do towards that end?

Carolina Fernandez

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. before working at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch. She left the corporate world to work as a full-time wife, mother, and homemaker.

Coming home to longer hours, harder work, and more demanding relationships left her feeling totally overwhelmed. Granted, she traded one investment field for another which has yielded immeasurable returns heretofore unimagined. Nonetheless, her frustration at her lack of ability in tackling all of motherhood’s inherently difficult challenges pushed her into a nearly twenty year labor of love. Her research in child development, child psychology, social psychology, nutrition, and exercise physiology, along with indispensable insights and experiences gained along the way, finally evolved into ROCKET MOM!

She re-invented herself in the process. She has dabbled in the domestic, performing, and visual arts, undertaking projects ranging from painting in oils to hooking rugs to singing onstage in Carnegie Hall. She has developed strong convictions about the role of the arts in child development; these convictions have shaped the specific strategies played out in the book.

She has a passion for inspiring creativity in people of all ages, from pre-schoolers to rocket grandmoms! Indeed, she receives particular joy in helping moms on the front line as they engage in what is arguably the most creative challenge ever invented: motherhood. To this end, she writes and speaks extensively, and is constantly developing teaching materials in her effort to share the crucial intervention of creative nurturing in developing children. She shares her message via radio and TV interviews; print media; and in speaking platforms via seminars and workshops, lectures and keynotes for pre-schools, women’s groups, retreats, civic organizations and adult education classes. Her soon-to-be-launched cable TV program, ROCKET MOM! will reach thousands of households in the Fairfield County area of Connecticut.

Her newly-formed Rocket Mom Society attempts to meet her mission head-on as she “encourages, equips and empowers moms for excellence.”

She lives with her husband and their four children in Ridgefield, Connecticut.